What Doesn't Kill You

I am back in the hospital again.  I came in Friday and should be out next Friday.  Earlier today my Aunt Belinda came and visited me for quite a while.  She brought that adorable teddy and flower arrangement with her.  It was so nice to be able to talk and catch up.  I don't get to see her often so I was very happy she was able to stop today.  Coming in here isn't always all bad.  I decided to come in for a few different reasons.  The most obvious being I was feeling pretty miserable.  To be honest, I never felt good after this last admission.  Ceftazidime doesn't cut it.  It kills the bugs, but the fevers went away for maybe a week.  I never got the increase in energy I get after admissions when on Zosyn.  I have noticed this has been the case for awhile.  My doctors know this, but they have to rotate my antibiotics so the bugs don't get resistant.  It sucks, but it would be worse if Zosyn didn't work anymore.

Kelly is coming to Buffalo to hang out with me for a week!  I am really looking forward to it and I want to feel somewhat decent.  I know she doesn't care, but I do.  I was originally going to wait till Monday to go in, but she is coming in next Friday so this is better.  Again she was fine visiting me in the hospital, but I would rather be home hanging out with her.  Also I have an appointment in NYC on March 15th and I want to be healthy enough to be able to fly comfortably.  So as you all can see it all kind of fell perfectly for me to go in now.  I got sick right in time.  Go figure, getting sick a little quicker this time turned out to be convenient for me.

This last month has definitely been a challenging one.  Like I said I never got an energy boost, so this whole month I was exhausted and wasn't able/didn't want to do anything.  Just going out to eat at Arby's and grocery shopping with my grandma and aunt exhausted me.  Not being able to go anywhere or do anything has really been taking a toll on my emotionally.  I would love to be able to jump in my car and just take a ride.  Maybe go visit someone or walk in a store to do a little shopping.  I have been feeling very secluded lately and I hate it.

Physically I have been a mess this month.  Most days something on my body hurt.  Mostly it has been my chest, to the point where I couldn't get comfortable.  I would want to lie down on the couch and relax all those muscles, but then cough because I was lying down.  My oxygen usage has gone up.  A couple nights I had the O2 on eight all night long to help me sleep.  I have also needed to go up to eight or ten liters to catch my breath.  One night even that didn't help.  It took about four hours to stop coughing and calm my angry lungs.  A lot of that was caused by the fever I had.  Those really take a toll on my body.
Baths and I have a love hate relationship.  I love them because the warm water relaxes my muscles.  It is nice to just relax in there for a little while and be able to take an actual bath instead of sponge baths.  I have needed to do those more often.  Getting in the bathtub is a trigger for my coughing.  If I am not very careful I start coughing, lose my breath, and have to go through a bunch of steps to get it all to stop.  I am getting better at figuring out those tricks, but it is not always a guarantee especially with how sick I have been.

It is day two in the hospital and I am noticing a difference already.  My cough is getting easier.  It is still a rough cough, but things are moving and I am not stuck in the cough as long.  The fevers are still brutal.  I am sleeping a lot and I lose my breath with just about anything.  Like I said though, it is day two.  The fact I am seeing any changes already is awesome.  Hopefully see some more changes in the next few days.    I will post shortly because I have a few tests coming up.  Not looking forward to this.