Wake Me Up When September Ends

I am back in the hospital on IV meds.  I knew it was coming especially because I am following a schedule of two weeks on IV meds, four weeks off, but I am obviously not too happy about it.  I feel like a fish in a fish tank.  Keep going around and around the tank, just continuing to follow the same routine over and over again.  Trapped in the tank unable to go or see anything else.  There is the occasional change, like when the rock is taken out and a boat is put in its place.  The boat is cool, but the rock is missed.  Nothing can be done about this though because I'm a mere fish in a fish tank.  I am not going to have much control of anything until someone comes with a net, scoops me out, and sets me free in the ocean.  I don't know when that day will come, but lately it seems like the fish tank is getting smaller and smaller and I want out.  I am just so tired of everything...

Can't Fight Biology

A few updates.  I was told that I am above 80% of the people on the lung transplant list nationwide.  This is good news and means I am right up there for a pair of lungs.  Just waiting on one that is my type and my size.  Being as small as I am (4'10") it can sometimes be hard to come by lungs that will fit in my chest cavity.  I just have to be patient.  Physically I am starting to notice increased coughing and I had a fever yesterday...

Merry Christmas All

I hope everyone enjoyed their holiday.  I was able to enjoy most of Christmas and the few weeks before hand.   It was a good time to go into the hospital and still be able to get out and enjoy the season.  My health did limit what I was able to do this year, but I did whatever my body would let me.  I took things easy and for the most part it was nice.

With a Little Help from My Friends

Well I am back in the hospital.  No real surprise there.  I came in Friday the 30th.  It seems like I end up in here every 4-6 weeks.  This was a little early but I was struggling to sleep through the night and breathing was getting harder and harder.  I also didn't want to wait and come in as bad as I was when I came in last time.  That was extremely uncomfortable.  This hospitalization has been much more pleasant than the last one.  I had a few rough moments and nights.  That is expected… I am in the hospital....

For Thanksgiving Memories

Funny how everyday seems to be the same.  Then you look back a year, or even a few months, and so much is different.  The changes are normally so subtle they go unnoticed and then bam, the realization of how different it is kicks in.  Sometimes the life changes are good and sometimes they are bad.  When it's bad giving up should not be an option.  Things will change again.  If you give up now, there will be no experiencing the good things in the future.  Nothing is forever.  The only constant in life is change.

Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head

On Saturday the 27th a friend of mine came up to see me just to hang out and catch up. It had been awhile between me being so sick and her being busy with her kids.  It was really nice to catch up with her.  We watched a few movies, had taco bell and just talked the whole day.  I had a few coughing fits when she was there, but nothing too serious.  Luckily it wasn't a bad day.  Sunday was a little rougher and I needed to keep switching between the cannula and the mask for O2.  Then Monday morning I was OK so I did my stuff and just took it easy.  I waited for my dad to get out of work to take me into the hospital. By the time he got there I was starting to have a hard time breathing.  I was so exhausted even though I did nothing.  He took me into Children’s and headed home.  I now wish he hadn't left so fast because this was the worse admittance I have ever had!

Dilemma

Yesterday I had my follow up doctor's appointment in NYC.  I had to struggle a little over the week to make this happen.  I was not feeling well again, but did not want to miss this appointment.  My last appointment was April 17th.  I missed the one in July because of being admitted and I didn't want to miss another one.   Another thing I did not want to do was cancel my flight.  So I did what I needed to do to in order make it through the week and get to this appointment.