Dilemma

Yesterday I had my follow up doctor's appointment in NYC.  I had to struggle a little over the week to make this happen.  I was not feeling well again, but did not want to miss this appointment.  My last appointment was April 17th.  I missed the one in July because of being admitted and I didn't want to miss another one.   Another thing I did not want to do was cancel my flight.  So I did what I needed to do to in order make it through the week and get to this appointment.

Broken

I am falling apart.  I am trying so hard to keep myself together here, but it seems like no matter what I do I can't feel good.  I don't like to complain, but this is getting to be too much.  Not only for me, but for my family too.  I can barely do anything for myself so I constantly have someone doing something.  They are all constantly worried about me and that gets to me too.  I don't like seeing my family upset.  I know it is inevitable  because they all love me and hate seeing me in the condition I am in.

Up, Up and Away

Wings Flight of Hope is the organization I am set up with to take me for my transplant.  I assumed I wouldn't talk to them until I got needed them to fly me for the actual procedure.  Well shortly after my benefit my mom got a phone call from man named Joe.  He runs the organization and heard about my benefit.  He wanted to let us know that they would take me to and from my doctor’s appointments in NYC.  I was so happy to hear this because with the increase in oxygen use, traveling is getting more and more difficult.  I called them back and I have my first flight scheduled with them on October 19^th!  

Rock This Town

What a busy week!  On the 22nd we had the benefit. I spent a few days recovering from that benefit, and at the same time had my brother here with me for a few days.  I knew Friday and Saturday were going to be busy days.  I thought I knew what to expect, but more was in store for me than I knew....

The Motivation Proclamation

I was admitted into the hospital on Monday the 10th.  I am starting to notice a change in how I feel, but it is going slow and I am still a little out of it.  I would have updated sooner, but I have been so tired and didn't have the motivation to do much at all.  To be honest I am still having a little bit of trouble with getting myself to do anything.  I am tired, I am winded very easily and the motivation is just not there.  It is weird though because I am getting antsy and I want to do something, I just can't think of anything I feel like doing.  Interesting dilemma right?  Before I came in I was thinking about getting everything together for the scrapbook I am working on and bringing it with me.  I am slightly happy that I didn't bring it with me because it would just be sitting on the table untouched and then I would have been mad at myself.  It has just been one of those weeks and I am happy it is almost over....

Rollercoaster

I feel like I am on a roller coaster ride.  My health is up and down, up and down.  Not just day to day either.  I can be fine one hour, then feel horrible the next, then fine again.  It is extremely frustrating.  It makes it even harder to plan and do anything.  I know all about day to day, but seriously!? 

We are Family

Today was a very enjoyable day!  I went over to my Aunt's house to help with some baskets for the benefit. I thought only a couple of us where going over there, but when I got there it was a full house!  A bunch of my extended cousins were over there too.  There was me, five other adults, three teenagers, and four little ones.  I was surprised, but happy to see everyone.  Some of them I hadn't seen in years.  Of the four little ones, two of them I had not met yet.  So it was really nice to see everyone.  I am finding that this is my favorite part of the benefit.  I am seeing and hearing from people I haven't talked to in years.